


safe, now

by lameynelson



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, keating and mr perry get mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:49:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29727891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lameynelson/pseuds/lameynelson
Summary: neil looks back at the night he almost lost everything
Relationships: Implied Todd Anderson/Neil Perry - Relationship, Todd Anderson & Neil Perry
Kudos: 10





	safe, now

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this a while ago, never did anything with it, and decided maybe someone out there would enjoy. it's short and simple, and i know there's a bit of an unrealistic moment but hey, it's late at night and i didn't want to change it

“it happened nearly a year ago, yet i can’t move past it. why can’t i let it go?”

“maybe the snow brought it back to you. made you remember it through the smallest of similarities.”

soon after that suicide attempt, neil’s father wanted to send him off to a psych ward. he couldn’t bare having a son who would humiliate him and his name by acting too immature and out of line. but his father couldn’t anticipate neil running away and finding a home with mr. keating, who gladly took him in and treated him as his own.

neil began to pursue acting, no longer caring for his father’s approval, and todd came along and watched his every performance. they became much closer after that night, as if they had no other choice.

* * *

it was the middle of the night, snow still falling outside. todd had been worrying about neil since he saw him being driven away by his father, not understanding the situation entirely but still feeling scared. what if something happened to him? what if his father hurt him? it would be too much to handle.

a noise in the room woke him up, and he initially thought it was one of their friends pulling a prank, but as he opened his eyes he saw neil in front of him; cold as ice, barely wearing any clothes, and crying.

“neil?”

“i know it’s late, and i shouldn’t even be here, but i had to see you. i wanted you to know i was okay.”

“why are you here with barely any clothes on?”

“i sort of ran away.”

“what? why?”

“when we got home, i sat there, letting him yell at me. he told me he was going to enroll me in military academy and then i’d go to harvard. i wanted to tell him off so badly, i did, but...all i said was nothing. and then my parents went to bed and i stayed up, going over everything. in my mind i thought there’d be nothing left to live for, y’know? my father had just ruined my life for me. so i went and found his gun, and aimed it for my head, but...i thought about you, and the rest of the guys, and i ended up shooting my shoulder instead. of course they still heard the gunshot, though, and came running in moments later. my father was angry with me, like i disobeyed him yet again. he said he wanted to send me off to a psych ward so that i didn't embarrass him again, but after he wrapped up my shoulder i ran away."

"oh my god, wh-what? you just ran away like that?"

"i had no other choice, i mean- you weren't there, you didn't hear it in his voice. it sounded like he just didn't love me anymore."

"oh, neil, i'm sorry. but why come here? won't he know you were here?"

"you're the only person i feel safe with."

"me?"

"yea. kind of silly now that i said it out loud."

* * *

"i can't believe you stayed awake with me the whole night."

"what else was i going to do? you almost died that night, i was afraid i'd lose you for real."

"i'm glad i had you, otherwise i wouldn't have stood my ground against my father. _and_ mr. keating never would've taken me in, so for that i'm really thankful."

"gracing me with your hugs is enough of a thanks, neil."

"you really like my hugs that much?"

"no one ever hugs me except for you. it feels nice, like a home i never had."

neil smiled and hugged todd.

"thank you for being here with me, when i'm probably driving you crazy about the past."

"nonsense, i'm glad to be here."

"you make everything better, todd."

"you do too, neil."


End file.
